his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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