I hate your face
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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