Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
