wanna go halves on a baby?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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