Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
