CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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