I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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