Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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