somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
