i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
