Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
