If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
