She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
