Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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