The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
