i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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