Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize