My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
