I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize