K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
