you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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