i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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