I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
