I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
