that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
