you would pick up someone in the library
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So much Jack, so little girl.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
