Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
