shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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