If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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