in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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