Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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