Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
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Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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