Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
