He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
