Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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