I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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