I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
