my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.