People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
