i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
