I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
thus making me awesome and them whores
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
