He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize