why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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