What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize