dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
