My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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