so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
