break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize