1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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