We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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