they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
lets start a swedish sibling band together
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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