is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
