After last night, I could never be a politician.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
