my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
