Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

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  (617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick http://tfl.nu/i68n
  Replies (73) Good night (18460) Bad night (3573) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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  (781): Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night. http://tfl.nu/89jq
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (4032) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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  (315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (6957) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
  Replies (15) Good night (2744) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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  (661): Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half http://tfl.nu/okef
  Replies (14) Good night (884) Bad night (3753) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

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  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3754) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

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  (610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0
  Replies (6) Good night (2813) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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  (562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036
  Replies (5) Good night (940) Bad night (2316) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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  (516): Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko. http://tfl.nu/dtru
  Replies (10) Good night (2439) Bad night (906)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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  (516): Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment http://tfl.nu/52np
  Replies (4) Good night (2979) Bad night (1332)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.

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  (914): He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/uv06
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2572) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3582) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  It's after 5, it's not day drinking.

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  (859): Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester? (1-859): It's after 5, it's not day drinking. http://tfl.nu/fzca
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.

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  (319): I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party. http://tfl.nu/7y6s
  Replies (3) Good night (181) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt

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