Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!