I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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