margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
