I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
