I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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