now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me