Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.