if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.