return my video game
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
