your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.